Hermione's warped Reality with Ron!
by Moonstone
Summary: Oneshot 'You're an idiot,' she whipsered. 'You love me for it,' He grinned. Hermione realised she'd rather be blissfully miserable with Ron than be miserably blissful without him.


He stared into her chocolate eyes, completely and utterly stunned.

"You're not being serious," he stated, more than asked, refusing to believe what she had just told him.

She looked at him pleadingly, her expression contradicting his, as she reached out to his hand. He pulled away.

"Ron listen to me," she sighed, "it'll be better for both of us."

He shook his head slowly, the few thin red locks that fell in his face like a curtain shook with him

"We can't end it now Hermione," he whispered, "not after all we went through to get here."

Hermione gave an exasperated sigh.

"See that's it!" she said raising her hands, "that's it! We shouldn't have had to go through all of that to get here. We shouldn't have."

He looked into her eyes and reached out to touch her face, but decided against it, letting his hand linger in the air. He wanted to beg her to stay; beg her not to walk away, not when they were so close. But it was Hermione, and he knew that she'd had chances to rebound before and had taken them. He could tell it was the last straw.

Tightening his jaw and standing up straighter he gave a short curt nod, lowering his eyes to the ground so she wouldn't see the tears.

Hermione watched him for a little while, feeling the strong urge to embrace him and make it all go away, but she knew she couldn't, not if she wanted to move on properly.

If she reached out to him again she just jump back into the deep waters she had tried so hard to wade out of. If she reached out to him she'd re-stick herself, when she'd just become unstuck.

Sighing again she took three small steps backwards, as if still considering her options, and then purposely turned around and walked out of the room and out of the apartment.

As she climbed into the lift she let out yet another sigh, as she felt that sinking feeling she always felt after she fought with him. Though lately it seemed that was all that they ever did and that was all she ever felt because of it.

When they were in Hogwarts they had fought, when they were just friends and even after they managed to get together. It was expected of course, they were just so different. Ron was disorganized, messy and lazy, whereas she was very prim and proper, always on top of her school work, and very very tidy.

But Ron was also kind, sweet and caring. He had stuck by her through thick and thin when Harry couldn't be there. The minute they got together Hogwarts let a huge sigh of relief. Apparently everybody knew how they felt for each other...except themselves.

She smiled to herself as she thought of the ridiculous turn of events that had caused them to finally come to admit their feelings to each other. It was all thanks to Harry. As usual he was the one always solving their fights so they could be friends again.

It was on a cold October Evening, in their sixth year. She and Ron had had yet another fight. But lately their fights always happened to be over something stupid; like the fact that she was being moody. When Ron practically yelled himself hoarse asking her why, all she could come up with was that she had seen him kissing some girl, or something of that sort and had got extremely annoyed; no explanation

The same would happen to Ron. And they carried on like that, for months and months, until their best friend, Harry Potter decided that she and Ron were just too thick to get to the root of it all.

This time they were fighting again. And Harry decided to fix it once and for all.

Harry had dragged Hermione into a corner and wouldn't let her go.

* * *

"Harry what are you doing?" she had asked him as he held her there. Harry put a finger to his lips and just watched the corridor, as if waiting for something to happen.

Of course Hermione was completely confused. They weren't figuring out a mystery this year. They were just going to fight Voldermort straight on, so what was Harry waiting for.

After a few seconds it seemed like Harry had seen what he had been waiting for.

"Hermione," he said hurriedly, turning to her, "you're not going to like this. And you're going to want to kill me for it. But later trust me, you'll thank me."

She couldn't understand what he was talking about. Then she heard footsteps approaching from the corridor. She turned to see. But before she could get a glimpse, Harry had swirled her around back to face him and had captured her lips with his.

When he finally let go she looked into his eyes, completely bewildered.

"Harry…I…"

She had wanted to say that she didn't feel the same way and that she was sorry, and that there was someone else. But when she tried to speak the words wouldn't come out.

Then she heard running footsteps back down the corridor they had been watching. She looked at Harry questioningly, who had a small one-sided smile, and then turned. She gasped as she saw the retreating figure of a redheaded boy.

"Ron…"

She had ripped herself out of Harry's arms and had sprinted after her other best friend, with nothing in her mind but to find him. She didn't know why she wanted to find him. And she didn't know what she was going to say. She just had to find him.

After a long unsuccessful search she retreated back to the Gryffindor Common Room and to her dormitory, defeated.

Sitting on her bed she let out one sob as the realization of her feelings hit her. How long had she been ignoring them for? She couldn't remember.

Every bit of her secure lifestyle seemed to be lost now. She needed to find him. She needed him to find herself again. Through all the fights and arguments she realized that over time she had lost herself to him. Like her, he probably couldn't remember the last time they had laughed together. Like her, he probably thought the situation was useless. Like her, he probably thought that she was just there to annoy him.

She stared out of the window and let one single tear fall as she watched the rain clouds gather overhead.

Then questions started to appear.

What was she going to tell him when she found him?

Did she really need to tell him anything? The conclusion came to a negative. There was nothing between them. It was just her feelings. He didn't need to know them. He didn't reciprocate.

Then why did he run off like that?

Was there something?

Could there be?

The rain began pouring down heavily and soon the bitter sorrowful silence was lost to the rhythmical sound of water drumming on every open surface.

She looked at the lake as it soon became completely covered by repeated ripples.

Moving her line of vision she looked at the battling Whomping Willow and to the grounds and to a person who was walking.

She groaned inwardly. Stupid people! Did she ever get a break? She would have to go and call them in and give them a detention. She really wasn't in the mood. Another prefect could do it.

She looked over to the person again. She gasped. Sure enough she saw him. His red hair, though soaked, stood out like a sore thumb.

Leaping off her bed she grabbed a coat and ran out of the dormitory and out of the Common Room, ignoring Harry's and many other's calls.

She didn't stop running until she reached the grounds. Searching around she caught a glimpse of him. Wrapping the coat around her tighter she squinted and went after him

"RON!" she called, "RON!"

The rain was pouring so heavily that everything seemed blurred. Finally she came up close.

"RON!"

He turned around that time. She could never forget the face. He looked like he'd seen a ghost eating. Though she expected she didn't look extremely scary.

"H…Hermione," he stuttered.

"RONALD AURTHUR WEASLEY!" she yelled, "WHAT IN GOD'S NAME DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING STANDING OUT HERE, GETTING DRENCHED IN THIS RAIN? ARE YOU CRAZY? HAVE YOU COMPLETELY LOST YOUR BLOODY MARBLES?"

He shivered slightly but shrugged.

"I came out to think," he said softly. A bit too softly.

"What?"

"I CAME TO THINK!"

She heard him that time.

Looking at his soaking sad face at that moment made her heart melt. He looked so confused and defenceless. She couldn't' possibly shout at him.

"You can think inside," she said softly, walking up to him.

He shook his head.

"I don't want to," he murmured, "Harry's in there."

That comment surprised her. Was he really affected by what had happened?

"So?" she asked.

"He betrayed me," he said bitterly, "he betrayed my trust. He knew how I felt and that sodding bloody twerp still did it.

The tears then started to well up in her eyes and soon began to fall.

"And he calls himself my best friend?" Ron continued forgetting she was there, "liar!"

"Ron…" she whispered. She had to tell him now, even if she didn't know why.

"I bet he was waiting for me to come," he continued, not hearing her, "he wanted to spite me. He wanted me to see him kissing her."

"Ron please listen…" the tears wouldn't stop.

"I told him how I felt and he still goes and shoves his tongue down her throat," he gulped,still not remembering the saidshe was there, "of all the people he could kiss. He had to kiss her. He had to kiss Hermione. My Hermione!"

She had fallen silent then. Her brain was too busy watching her heart doing summersaults to form words.

"I'm going to kill him!" Ron continued, "I'm going to crucify him and feed him to Voldermort! And then he can forget about winning the sodding war. I can win it and then Hermione'll like me instead and…"

She let out a heart-wrenching sob.

He whipped around and stared at her. Her hair was clinging to all surfaces possible like her soaking clothes. Her shivering hands were wrapped around herself tightly. Her face was drenched with a mixture of tears and rain.

"H…Hermione," he gulped. He looked upon her tear and rain stained face and his brow furrowed slightly.

"You're crying!" he walked up to her as she let out another sob, "why are you crying?"

She looked up at him and almost broke down.

"Because of you, you sodding prat!" she cried, "It's all because of you! You've made me cry again over something stupid again. Just like you make me laugh over something stupid."  
She was gasping slightly as the rain started to pour harder.

"You wanna know what that something stupid is Ron?" she asked, as the tears came pouring down again, "You wanna know?"

He gulped as he pushed some of his soaking hair away from his eyes.

"It's you!" she cried again and looked away, "You're that stupid something that makes me cry and laugh at the same time!"

She looked up at his startled face and took a step forwards.

"All you ever make me do is vent out all my feelings," she whispered, "every time either my temper or my laughter gets the best of me when I'm around you and I can't control myself. We're always fighting and arguing and I always end up screaming myself hoarse because of you! Sometimes I hate you so much I want to throw YOU to Voldermort so you can forget about the sodding war!"

He backed away slightly at this.

"But then…" she sighed as more tears fell, "but then you do something stupid again and make me laugh so hard that I forget completely why I was angry. I don't know what to do anymore. I hate you so much that I want to throw you off the Astronomy tower over and over till you become a pulp. But then you do something and I love you all over again and I never want to see you leave because that would hurt so much that I'd die and…"

She stopped and gasped. She hadn't realised what she had just said.

Silence fell over the grounds for a second and all that could be heard was the pounding of the pouring cold rain against the floor. They watched each other in that second, trying to read what was going through the other's mind.

And then, Ron finally decided to take some initiative.

He took one bold step over to her, grabbed her shoulders, pulled her to him and kissed her with all his heart.

Hermione's tears soon fell like water falls down her cheeks as she kissed him back with as much fervour as she could muster, as her arms wrapped around his heck to reduce any space between them.

When breathing finally became a complete necessity they pulled away and rested against each other's foreheads.

"You're an idiot," she whispered, closing her eyes, "you really are."

He laughed.

"Why?"

"You actually thought that I liked Harry, that's why!"

He opened his eyes the same time as her and looked into hers.

"Well you did like him before," he protested, grinning.

She rolled her eyes.

"Ron I was 12 years old!" she exclaimed, "He was The-Bloody-Boy-Who-Lived! Everyone fancied him then. But things change in case you haven't noticed. I mean look at this."

Ron laughed before claiming her lips again. Hermione began to float.

"OI!" came a loud voice from the doors. They both turned and saw Harry standing Neville, holding the Mauraruder's map.

"YOU TWO DONE YET? IT'S BLOODY COLD AND WET OUT HERE!"

Hermione laughed and shook her head.

"WELL WHATEVER!" Harry called grinning, "YOU CAN MAKE OUT IN THE COMMON ROOM! AT LEAST PEOPLE'LL HAVE A BETTER VIEW!"

They both looked up the Common Room window and saw at least a dozen grinning and winking faces. They laughed and turned to each other.

Hermione swept her lips across Ron's softly before turning around to go back in.

As Ron wrapped his arm around he laughed again.

"Did you really want to throw me off the Astronomy Tower over and over again?"

* * *

Sighing Hermione decided she wasn't bothered to go through all the muggle hassle to get home and apparated to her apartment.

As soon as she appeared in her flat she collapsed onto the sofa, emotionally exhausted, and let her mind wander.

What had gone wrong between them?

Keeping track of fights and reasons was extremely difficult. They had never fought so much, even in Hogwarts years. It was when they got out and the war began and ended.

Of course war changes everyone, especially those in the Golden Trio. Harry, Ron and Hermione knew things would never be the same. They would never be as carefree and their respective relationships would have to be stronger than ever in order to take the toll. But they pulled through, still the closest friends. But what was left of Hermione and Ron was completely the opposite.

They fought and argued their way right up to this moment. At times Hermione wanted out, but then he would do something, just like in Hogwarts and make her stay.

But soon his little comically charming efforts after every fight just wasn't enough. Sometimes they'd spend weeks just not speaking to each other, or weeks just shouting and yelling. Many a times they had both considered taking a break and many times they did. But only for a short period of time. They always went running back to each other.

_Right back to hell._

Was that what she called her relationship with a man she had been with for 10 years straight? Hell?

_Just shows._

She remembered sitting by the windowsill sobbing her heart out after another fight. It was on that very windowsill that she had decided to end it, completely. Breaks never worked. Ending it completely would solve it all.

She remembered the look on his face when she told him that she thought they should end it and see other people. His eyes had widened and his breathing had become faster. She could pin point when she saw his hear break.

Well I bet he couldn't see how many times my heart has been broken.

She sighed again, as doubts flooded her mind.

Was it worth it?

She wasn't sure yet.

Is it worth it?

It didn't feel like it.

Was it going to be worth it?

She'd just have to wait and see.

* * *

_­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­Three and half months later._

"Ron come on!" Harry protested as he followed Ron out of yet another restaurant, another double date and another attempt to make him move on.

"Ron you can't keep doing this to yourself!" Harry continued, finally catching up with Ron, "you have to move on!"

Ron shook his head.

"I can't"  
The two friend walked in silence until they arrived at what they fondly called the Trio's park. This was where so many of the Golden Trio's dreams had come true. It was where Harry had proposed to Ginny, his long-term girlfriend of 6 and half years, excluding all the years when Harry had either broken up with her for her protection or was fighting in the war.

It was where the Trio watched Fred get married to his late brother, Percy's much younger girlfriend Penelope. Percy, like Bill and Fleur were the three people in the Weasley family who had died a heroic death in the war. Percy had finally given up his proud charade and had joined his family, who welcomed him with open arms. He had died trying to save his mother.

Fred had fallen in love with Penelope long before the war actually began in full scale, and when Percy died he was the one to comfort her. Soon she began to reciprocate his feelings back and after four years of honouring Percy's death they finally made it down the aisle, having being blessed by Percy himself, after they found his lost will. Apparently Percy knew all along about Fred's feelings and had written a will, knowing that Fred would definitely take care of his love, if she agreed.

The bench on which the two friends were now sitting on was where they had sat and watched George's marriage to Luna Lovegood and the christening of their first born, Janice Luna Lovegood Weasley, who had turned a year old two weeks ago.

And last but not least, this park was where Hermione and Ron automatically met to either make up after a long fight, or make out after a fantastic date.

Ron let his finger slide over an engraving in the bench.

You might love me as much as you say you do. But I know I love you a lot lot more.

"You know Hermione etched that in," he said smiling to himself, "she was crying so much that she couldn't speak. So she etched it in and christened it our bench."

Harry grinned.

"Yeah I remember that," he said softly before rustling his hair, "you guys had just gotten over one of your big fights."

Ron chuckled and looked out to the lake where they had watched George try and teach Luna how to swim like a human being, and not a Quellchuck Newt…whatever that was.

"You guys had that a lot you know," Harry said softly and cautiously, "a lot."

Ron didn't respond. The conversation had happened many times before, and every time no matter what he said, Harry won. And no matter how many times Harry won, Ron would stay by his word. He would never get over Hermione and he had given up trying.

Harry sighed.

"What was wrong with this one then Ron?" he asked, a question he asked after every failed date.

"She was as thick as two planks," Ron answered, turning to Harry who had conjured up two butter beers. Harry raised his eyebrow as he handed one to Ron.

"Look who's talking mate," he joked. Ron chucked his bottle cap at him. Both the friends leaned back, loosened their ties and relaxed as they talked.

"She was a real bimbo Harry," Ron argued.

Harry shook his head in disbelief.

"Ron she had a PHD in Brain surgery for Chrissakes!" he exclaimed, "what more could you want?"

Ron shrugged.

"She might have a paper but she was still stupid," he said and took a sip from his butter beer, "she couldn't hold a proper conversation. And besides she's no where near as clever as…"

"Hermione," Harry finished for him, knowing that Ron wouldn't actually say her name, "I know. Let me tell you one thing man. Don't ever compare any other girl's smarts with Hermione's because honestly, none will ever compare. She's like a frikkin' encyclopaedia."

"Beautiful…" Ron whispered.

"What?"

Ron shook his head. Harry would just give him the disappointed look again.

Harry looked at his lovesick friend.

_Come on Hermione! Come back to him! You're killing him! Don't you feel any bit of his pain at all?

* * *

_

Hermione nodded her head absent-mindedly at the man in front of her, trying to pay attention to his rambling, or at least trying to look as if she was. Though she found that her interest was drifting towards a certain redheaded girl who was laughing with another blonde.

Hermione watched as her two best friends, Ginny and Luna sat a few tables behind her having a good time. She so badly wanted to be there with them, laughing and talking with them, instead of in front of Mr.Stutter-Stutter-Blabber-Blabber.

"H...Herm…Hermione," her date called her from her wishes, "Am…Am I b…boring you?"

Hermione raised an eyebrow.

_WOW! Well-done Einstein! Clap clap!_

"No not all Errol!" she protested feebly batting her eyelashes so much she thought she'd poke her eye, "I was really interested in um…the…what you were just saying about the…you know…"

"Broticulas Plant…in…in my…back yard," her date staggeringly finished. Hermione flashed her teeth in hopes of it being a charming smile.

"See that's it!" she said giving him thumbs up.

_Funny…I thought he was talking about his brontosaurus mother who made his life hard. Do I need my ears checked?_

"More like my caffeine consumption," she muttered, "Can't keep an eye open."

"I'm…s…sorry?" her date asked. Hermione looked up.

"Oh…I need the toilet," she managed to jolt out, "I'll be right back."

As quickly as she could she stood up and bolted to the toilet, only slowing down slightly in front of Ginny and Luna so that they would see her.

Sure enough they got the sign and were with her in the bathroom within seconds.

"Hermione," Luna said in her posh voice, "What a pleasure to see you again."  
Hermione smiled as she opened her hair from the uncomfortable bun she had tied it in. Her toffee and honey coloured curls fell open and cascaded down her back in a graceful movement.

"Hey Luna," she greeted, "How's George?"

Luna nodded and smiled.

"He's taking care of Janice tonight," she said happily, "I needed a break. Looking after a one year old is hard work."

Hermione rolled her eyes in understanding.

" 'Mione?" came Ginny's curious voice from the entrance. As soon as the redhead spotted her friend she grinned.

"How's that date going?" the redheaded cheekily enquired, "having fun? Because I don't think his face was on our table."

Hermione pulled a face before turning to the mirror and groaning.

"He's awful," she moaned as she turned on the tap, "he talks as if he's in Siberia. And who talks about some stupid plant in their back yard on a first date anyway?"

Ginny snorted.

"Yeah well…" she stopped and looked at Hermione's now wet disappointed face in the mirror and decided against going along with her Maybe-You-Shouldn't-Have-Left-Him-Speech that she usually carried out. Hermione looked too fed up and down to have to bear it.

Hermione looked into her best friend's eyes through the mirror and saw everything that Ginny wanted to say to her. Sighing she turned to look at herself in the mirror and then closed her eyes.

Even though Ginny had understood why Hermione had ended things with Ron she hadn't supported it. She knew that her older brother would be crushed and had tried to persuade Hermione to think it over, but Hermione had stuck to her word. Ginny was still slightly sour about it all and Hermione knew it.

Hermione opened her eyes and looked into them in her reflection. Somehow she couldn't see the spark that she had hoped would reappear if she moved on.

* * *

As soon as she got back to her apartment after politely telling Errol that she didn't think they'd meet up again she collapsed onto her sofa again. Closing her eyes for a minute she thought back to how she used to come back home after a date with Ron and collapse onto the sofa, usually along with him, laughing as hard as she could.

She smiled to herself as she remembered when Ron had banged his head against the arm of the couch when he fell backwards with her on top of him, laughing hard.

_NO! Don't think about it! You have to get past it!_

Opening her eyes she stood up and went to make herself a strong cup of coffee. She entered her kitchen and turned on the kettle.

"Didn't go well?" came a voice. Hermione turned around and saw Pansy Parkinson; her knew colleague and friend standing in her kitchen. Hermione rolled her eyes.

"No," she replied sighing, "he reminded me of Neville."

Pansy laughed, "Well my brother's friend is really your type," Hermione raised an eyebrow, "I promise."

Hermione sighed and then finally agreed after much persuasion.

She would meet David, Pansy's brother' friend in a week.

* * *

_A week later._

"I really enjoyed that," David said as he and Hermione walked up to her apartment.

"Yeah me too," Hermione answered truthfully for the first time, "me too."  
They reached her door.

"Well this goodnight then?" David stated more than asked. Hermione smiled and nodded. They looked into each other's eyes for a while. Hermione couldn't believe it. Someone she actually liked.

David leaned forward and placed his lips on hers. Hermione was a little surprised but responded fairly quickly to his sweet kiss, smiling into it. She was happy.

When they pulled away Hermione gave him a shy smile before opening her apartment door and going inside. Before she shut the door she looked at him through the space between the ajar door and the wall.

"Bye," she whispered.

"Can I call you?" he asked stuffing his hands in his pocket. Her smile grew.

"You'd better," she said grinning. He chuckled and then walked away.

Hermione watched for a minute before shutting the door with a small smile on her face.

Was she finally moving on?

She'd been trying so hard the past months and had found it almost impossible. She'd dream about him. She'd see his face in the place of her dates'. She'd hear his voice, laugh inwardly at a joke he had once made or start crying at something he had once said. She'd find things littered in her apartment from time to time that reminded her of him. She'd remember his boyish smile and his cute pout and depression would wash over her like a tsunami wave, so strong she could barely stand.

Was that all over now?

_God I hope so.

* * *

_

"See you," Hermione called to Ginny, Pansy and Luna before closing her door. She sank down onto her couch and smiled a tipsy smile. She was a bit drunk from her crazy night out with her three friends. A strong cup of coffee would calm her down.

Standing up and steadying herself she pulled off her coat, scarf and gloves, revealing a blue, zip-up polo neck that hugged her curves and black formal trousers that contained a fire whiskey stain.

"Damn," she muttered, not really all that bothered as she walked over to her kitchen.

As she passed her window she saw a familiar white snowy owl hooting outside. Grinning she ran up to the window and let Hedwig, Harry's owl, in. Opening up the letter Hedwig brought she smiled.

_Hey Hermione!_

_Wondering if we could meet up at the park in three days…so on Wednesday. Ron's bagged out on another date again and has gone into a huff. You know he'll be moody for about a week now._

_I'm bored._

_Take pity on desperate friend and come…PLEASE!_

_Thanks_

_See you there_

_Harry_

_P.S. I'll bring butter beer._

Hermione turned the note over, smiling and scribbled a reply.

_I'm just too damn kind aren't I? See you Wednesday._

Then sending Hedwig on her way grabbed her coat, scarf and gloves and apparated out of her apartment to the train station.

Once she arrived she stood on the platform and watched as one of the trains came to a stop. She watched carefully as the passengers climbed out, searching for David.

"Hermione," a familiar voice called and Hermione turned to locate it. Smiling she walked up David and wrapped her arms around him as he held her close.

"Nice to see you," he said kissing her cheek, "how've you been.

Hermione smiled. They had been dating for about a month and half when he had to leave on business. It was good to see him again. But something felt wrong when she had hugged him. She didn't get that warm feeling over her body.

_Ignore it. He's back. Be nice. Figure it out later._

"Good," she said as she took his rucksack, "let's get going."

They both apparated to her apartment holding hands.

As soon as they appeared David pulled her into his arms and looked into her eyes.

"Missed me?" he asked softly. Hermione gasped surprise at first but then relaxed.

"Of course I did," she said smiling putting her arms on his shoulders. David grinned and leaned forward. Hermione gulped slightly as she watched him close in. Her stomach tightened. Just as his lips touched her she turned her head, causing him to catch her cheek.

David pulled away, slightly surprised and confused. The silence soon became too much to bear.

"You must be tired," Hermione said quickly as she disentangled herself from him, "why don't you go and rest on the couch and I'll get you some coffee. No milk and one sugar."

She pulled away and practically bolted into the kitchen. Just before she shut the kitchen door she heard David shuffle his feet and sigh before sinking down onto the couch.

Hermione stared out of the window as the water boiled, running her hand through her hair. What was wrong? She had been fine on all those dates before.

_It was only six in the period of a month and a half._

Still, they were quite fun. She shook her head. Something was wrong. Pouring the coffee into a mug and adding the sugar she tried to push aside the fact that she'd been thinking of Ron after every date and even more when David was away.

* * *

_Wednesday_

"Hey Harry," she greeted as she arrived with a pop next to him. Her bespectacled, green-eyed, raven-haired friend turned around and grinned.

"How was the night out?" he asked, motioning for her to sit as he offered her a butter beer.

Hermione raised an eyebrow and grinned.

"How did you know?" she enquired, though she knew the answer.

"Ginny mentioned it before I left for the double date with Ron," he shrugged.

"Double date?"

Harry rolled his eyes.

"You know what I mean 'Mione," he said smiling, "I was with Sally, accompanying Ron on his date with her friend. Didn't go well as usual."

Hermione sighed but didn't answer.

"I'm worried about him 'Mione," Harry continued quietly, "he's screwed up every date that I've set him up with, and you want to know the reason?"

Hermione didn't want to know. She already did. Harry continued.

"He won't get over you," Harry complained, "and he won't even try."

Hermione didn't answer again, but just stared at the lake.

"Did Luna ever learn to swim properly?" she asked, trying to change the subject.

Harry got the idea but rolled his eyes.

"Yeah," he said sighing, "it took her about a week thought." Hermione chuckled.

The two friends sat in silence before Harry spoke again.

"How's David?" he asked, trying to sound casual, "you guys official yet?"

Hermione nodded her head, still not wanting to meet Harry's eyes.

"Have been for sometime now."

"Have been for some time now," she repeated, hoping that the feeling of the relationship being a burden for some time now didn't become too obvious. Harry nodded, catching a hint of Hermione's depression.

"Are you happy Hermione?" he asked after a while turning to look at her. Hermione turned to him with a questioning look on her face.

"Why do you ask?" she asked, trying to avoid the question.

Harry looked into her eyes for a while and then smiled to himself before shrugging.

"Just asking," he said before taking a gulp of his butter beer.

After a few minutes Harry could see that Hermione was in her own world.

"I'll leave ok?" he said touching her hand, "Ginny's at home alone. She'll get worried."

He kissed her on the cheek and apparated to his apartment to his fiancée, Ginny.

Hermione sat in front of the lake, completely lost.

Over the past three days since the feeling that something was wrong kept getting stronger. It was there when they were in the initial stages of dating; she had to admit it, she was just so happy to have moved on.

_Maybe I haven't_

_But I need to._

_But not with David then._

She sighed. David was a fantastic guy. He was attractive. He was sensitive. He was funny. He was kind. He had a great job.

But there was a problem.

He was too good sometimes. Sometimes she got so frustrated with his perfection that she would throw a massive tantrum and mood fit, hoping that he would fight so that she could vent it all out. But he was just too sensitive to notice, making it impossible for her to shout at all or vent the steam.

_If it were Ron I'd be yelling within a second._

Ron again. Why did he come up in everything? She was supposed to be over him. But she wasn't was she? She still longed for his jokes and his stupid and sarcastic Essex London sense of humour. David's was just too dry to laugh at most of the time.

She didn't know what to do.

_Help me someone._

As she apparated to her apartment she tried to stop calling Ron's name in her mind.

* * *

"So I was thinking since our relationship is so serious now maybe we could meet my parents," David suggested as he sat on Hermione's couch the next morning. Hermione dropped the tray of coffee.

"Hermione?" David turned around and saw Hermione shocked face, "don't worry. They won't bite you."

Hermione muttered a spell and cleaned up the mess before she came and sat silently next her boyfriend.

"Well?" David asked taking his coffee. Hermione took a gulp before turning to him.

"Are you sure it's not too soon?" she asked.

"No of course not," he said and stood up and walked to the window, "and then we'll meet your folks."

Hermione choked on her coffee.

"Are you alright?" David asked, concerned at her strange behaviour. Hermione didn't know what to say.

"My parents were killed in the war David," she said quietly. David didn't answer for a while.

"I'm…I'm sorry honey," he said finally, not coming over to her, "I'm sorry."

There was silence as Hermione just shook her head. She remembered how much it hurt.

"But…um…anyway…" David continued on, slightly uncomfortable at first. Hermione tuned him out. She hadn't expected much, it was about two years ago but somehow she felt very neglected by David…compared to the way Ron had helped her through it.

He had held her tightly and rocked her back and forth as she wept throughout the funeral and had never let her out of his sight for an entire two weeks.

* * *

"Mione?" came Ron's hoarse and sleepy voice from the staircase of the Burrow, "what are you doing?"

Hermione had been sitting on that couch all night in the Burrow's living room crying her eyes out, three weeks after her parents' death.

"Nothing…Ron," she said trying to put a brave face as she turned around. Ron walked over to her and sat down next to her. Putting his hand on hers he said nothing. He didn't have to. It all came pouring out of her anyway.

"I don't think I can pull through this Ron," she said, tears now streaming down her face, "it's so hard."

Ron put his arms around her and pulled her into his chest.

"You can Hermione," he whispered stroking her hair, "you can."

Hermione shook her head, still sobbing.

"No I can't Ron," she cried, "it hurts so much. I can't make it."

Ron pulled her up to face him.

"You can," he said sternly, "because you're Hermione Granger. If you can't make it then who'll be there to yell at me? Mum's losing her touch."

He grinned at her as she laughed.

She buried her face in his chest, laughing and crying.

"And they need someone in the Ministry who can recite all the books in the Hogwarts Library off by heart," he said as an after thought. Hermione laughed as he cleared her tears off her face.

He spent the entire night with her; making her laugh and making her forget her pain.

* * *

"Hermione?" David's voice called her from her memory, "do you agree?"

Hermione looked up from her cup and then nodded absent-mindedly.

David smiled and opened his arms. Hermione walked into them as if she was walking into a lift.

David lifted her face with his forefinger and kissed her. Hermione responded, thinking of Ron.

What was she going to do?

* * *

Ron almost smashed into the tree on the roadside as he mouth fell open in shock at what he had just seen.

Hermione; his Hermione was in her apartment kissing some guy. He stood and watched for a while as the love of his life wrapped her arms around the other man's neck. From that far off he couldn't see her ridged actions and felt his blood boil as the man wrapped his arms around her waist.

The reality finally hit him with a full blow. She was over him completely. Even though he had waited for almost four months, he had to see this to realize it. He felt like screaming and crying in the middle of the road, just so she could see what she had done to him. But when he opened his mouth let out a small sob nothing came out.

He looked up again but stopped. Hermione wasn't playing with the man's hair and she wasn't going any closer to him.

Could it mean something?

But something in his mind told him it was all just wishful thinking. He had lost her and he wasn't getting her back.

Turning away from the source of his pain he looked down the road and spotted a pub.

_Perfect._

He shuffled his feet to regain feeling from the cold and then walked slowly over to the muggle pub, 'Danias'. He could drown Hermione and his love in a beer.

_Maybe a few more than one.

* * *

_

Hermione shut the door quickly as David left the house and sank onto the couch, tears falling. She was such an awful girlfriend. David deserved better than her. He didn't deserve her inattentiveness or her coldness.

As she sank back into the couch she felt something slide underneath the cushions. Slipping her hand underneath she found a T-shirt. Pulling out she burst into tears at what was written.

'Chuddley Cannons rock!

But not as much as me!'

It was Ron's T-shirt. He'd left it behind when he'd spent the night because his apartment was being done up.

It was just something that Ron's T-shirt would say.

"Ron," she whispered and held the T-shirt close to her self, inhaling the familiar scent.

What was wrong with her? Why couldn't she get over him? Hadn't she gone through enough hell with him to know that she couldn't be with him?

David was the perfect guy for her and she knew it. But somehow she also knew that his perfection could never match up to Ron's imperfection.

David respected her so much that he didn't see through her shy actions and just thought she didn't want to get close.

When they kissed he would never pull her close like Ron used to. He'd just stand there and wait for her to lean in closer; which she never did.

If it were Ron, she'd feel as if she was wrapped in a blanket. The blanket she sorely missed.

For some reasons she found David too predictable and boring. He never surprised her and she could tell what he was going to do next.

_Like I'm having constant premonitions._

Ron had always been crazily spontaneous and impulsive, and even though she would complain about his disorganization she had come to adore it, and was only realising it now.

Even little things like randomly hugging her or holding her close for no reason were lacking with David.

He'd never grab her hand in the middle of a horror movie and pretend to be terrified.

_Ron did._

He'd never apparate into her room in the middle of the night just to lie with her and talk about absolutely nothing, even though they both had early work the next morning.

_Ron did._

He'd never wake up in the morning and apparate to her apartment just to wrap his arms around her waist while she was cooking her breakfast.

_Ron did._

He'd never just appear at the Crime Research department at lunchtime and ask her to join him for dinner later.

_Ron did._

He never did any of those things. He never made her laugh when she cried because she was scared to let him see her cry. With Ron, she sometimes burst into tears right in front of him just so she could have him hold her the way he did when she cried.

David was just…

He wasn't Ron.

"Why can't I be over him?" she called to no one in particular, "I need to be! Otherwise I'll end up killing myself."

_You'll end up killing yourself by going on like this also._

She looked at the T-shirt and then hurled it as far as she could, as if that had been the cause of everything. Sobbing, she watched it float gently to the ground as it caught the air, mocking her stupidity for loving him and mocking her stupidity for staying away from him.

She fell forwards on the cushions, sobbing uncontrollably; soaking the material that she wished was Ron's shirt as she fell into a troubled sleep, dreaming of the past.

* * *

"Hey!" Ron slurred lifting his glass over his head, "this vodka stuff is better than fire whiskey Jacob!"

The bar tender raised an eyebrow but nodded to the very drunk Ron. He'd seen too many of these lovesick depressed men come into his bar to drown away their lost love and sorrow, muttering something about some girl or another.

But this one was a bit over the top. He hadn't known what drink he wanted, but he knew he wanted to get hammered. And when the redheaded customer finally did he kept muttering about weird things like galleons and Merlin and someone named Hermione.

Though Jacob could guess who Hermione was. When his redheaded customer had described her to him he'd almost felt like he wouldn't mind meeting this girl. But he knew that sorrowful people exaggerated the cause of their sorrow so they could feel more pain. It was human nature to do what was bad for you until you became completely numb to it all.

"Hey Jacob!" Ron called, falling off his stool, "give us another then! Us Essex boys have to stick together and get down like the homies and stay away from chavs."

Jacob shook his head laughing.

"I'm from Kent Ron," he said prying vodka glass away from the now standing Ron, "and that's enough mate. I shouldn't even have let you have so many. I don't think you even know where you're going in your home town."

Ron narrowed his eyes; or at least tried to and ended up look cross-eyed.

"Just because I'm a Londoner," he slurred and then burped, "don't mean that I know the entire town of Edinburgh ok? Merlin you'd think I told you I was an artist!" he stopped for a second and frowned, "or wait…was it a musician who knows the world of the map?"

Jacob shook his head.

"Ron I think you should call it a night," he said as he cleaned up the mugs, "besides I'm closing now."

Ron rolled his eyes, looking like a person with extremely weak eye muscles.

"Why call it a night when you could call it an after noon?" he asked, staggering to the door, "or you could even call it a…" he looked up and grinned, "a night!"

Jacob scoffed as he watched Ron stagger out of his pub.

"Funny one that one," he muttered, "Even when he's sober I bet he's a right barrel of laughs."

Ron swayed out into the middle of the street and started walking in the wrong direction singing Fee Fi Fo Fum to the tune of 'Jingle Bells'. He was finding it increasingly difficult, especially when he was trying to add the word 'Hermione' in every three words.

"Fee Fi Fo Hermione," he sang, giggling, "Fum Fi Fo Hermione. Fo Fum Fi Hermione all the way. Oh what fun Hermione Fi…Fum Fo Fi Hermione Foooooooooooo. Fee Fo Fum…no it's Fee Fi Fo Hermione, Fum Fi Fo Hermione, Fo Fum Fi Hermione all the way…Oh what fun Hermi…hey what's that bright light that's honking at me?" he stared at the swiftly approaching pair of headlights, staring blindly at the light, not moving, "ya sod! I'm not moving. It's my road!"

He watched as it got closer and closer, wanting to move, but somehow feeling the need to stay. It was a second of wide-eyed fear and realization before he fell backwards from the impact of the car and everything went black.

* * *

Hermione rushed to the hospital desk, her hair a mess, wearing only coat over her strap top and track-pants.

"I need to see Ronald Weasley!' she cried urgently to the receptionist, "now! Please!"

The receptionist nodded and gave her the room and Hermione was spiriting to the lift.

Only about two minutes ago she had received an owl from Harry that Ron was in a muggle hospital after being run over by a drunken driver down the road from her apartment. Hermione couldn't understand why he was in the muggle part of town if he hadn't come to see her. And if he had why had he gone down the other end of the road where there was no possible way for them to have any contact

"Ron please be ok!" she muttered incoherently in the lift, "please don't be dying or dead."

The lift was taking too long for her. Making sure that she was in the middle of two floors so no one would be able to stop the lift she apparated to Ron's room.

"Hermione!" Harry gasped when she appeared with a pop next to him, "why did you apparate?"

She shook her head, still panting from running.

"The lift was taking too long," she muttered. Without saying another word she looked over to the bed where Ron lay in a mess of cuts, blood, bruises and tubes. Sucking in her tears she turned to Ginny who had appeared by her side from the other end of the room.

"I'm glad you came," she said to Hermione, wrapping her arms around her friend, "We weren't sure if you would."

Hermione pulled away and looked at them, confused.

"Of course I would," she said, shocked that they'd think any other way, "why wouldn't I?"

Ginny shrugged and turned to Harry.

"We were worried that maybe you'd think it was a ploy by Ron to get you back," Harry said standing up to hug Hermione as well.

Hermione shook her head.

"I know he'd never do that," she whispered as she walked over to his side, "how is he?"  
Harry shrugged.

"He's unconscious right now but doctor's say he'll be fine," he said sitting back down, taking Ginny with him, "we don't need to take him to St. Mungos. He's broken a few of his ribs and has a concussion. But apart from another couple of broken bones, dislocations and bad cuts and bruises there's nothing serious."

Hermione nodded, placing her hand on Ron's.

"They detected a heavy amount of alcohol in his blood," Ginny said as she lay her head on Harry's shoulder, "he must've been drinking some muggle stuff."

"Vodka," Hermione and Harry both said.

"Just as strong as Fire Whiskey," Hermione finished.

They sat in silence for a while, listening to the beeping of machines. Harry and Ginny tried to stay awake while Hermione tried to keep the tears in.

Finally Hermione heard a soft snore and turned around. Sitting on double-seated chair, wrapped in each other's arms were Harry and Ginny fast asleep. Ginny's head was on Harry's chest and his head was on hers. Hermione smiled to herself as she watched their intertwined fingers play with each other as they both dreamt.

Even though she knew it was wrong she felt a pang of envy. The last time that had happened to here was over a quarter of a year ago.

She'd been so tired from work that as soon as she had gotten home she fell asleep, missing her date with Ron completely.

He'd appeared in her apartment completely petrified, but only found his girlfriend sound asleep on the couch.

The next morning Hermione awoke to Ron's sleeping chest and protective arms around her. That was probably the best night's sleep she'd gotten in a whole two weeks.

After a few hours Hermione heard shuffling from Ron's bed and cracked her eyes open. Ron was shifting around in his bed, muttering to himself.

"I'm serious Jacob," he mumbled in his sleep, "she is that fantastic. She's pretty, smart, kind and just about everything. And I love her."

Hermione's eyes filled with tears. She hoped he was talking about who she hoped he was. Her.

"But you know what's wrong? She doesn't love me anymore," he mumbled again, "she loves some other black haired guy. I saw her kissing him in her apartment just tonight."

Hermione raised an eyebrow. He saw her with David? Ron continued mumbling.

"She doesn't love me anymore Jacob," he mumbled, "my Hermione doesn't love me anymore."

Hermione finally let the tears come loose as she clutched onto his hand. She did love him. She didn't know why she tried to deny it.

Sobbing again she leaned forwards onto his badly bruised chest wishing him alive as horrible thoughts came into her head.

_What if he's gotten over me completely?_

_What if he's too hurt to let me come back?_

_What if he doesn't make it? Then I'll never be able to tell him._

_What if he wakes up with amnesia?_

The 'what-ifs' soon got wilder and wilder and she didn't notice Ron's eyes open and she didn't hear him groan as she wept onto his chest.

Ron opened his eyes blearily and looked up onto white, as he smelt disinfectant.

_Why am I in a hospital?_

Soon though the memory came back and his question was answered.

Stupid vodka. It's stronger than bloody fire whiskey.

Along with the memory, came the pain and feeling in his body, which made him come to notice a sobbing brunette on his chest.

He almost fainted again in shock. Hermione…His Hermione was there, sitting next to him in a chair next to his hospital bed, holding his hand and cutting circulation as she cried sorrowfully on his chest.

_I love you God!_

He watched her for a few seconds, savouring his view. He watched as her toffee and honey curls rocked with her head as she sobbed and he longed to run his fingers through it like he used to.

"Hermione," he called softly in a hoarse voice. She didn't hear at first and he called again.

"Hermione," his throat hurt. Hermione didn't stop crying for a second. Instead it got worse.

"Ron be quiet!" she ordered through her inconsolable tears, "go back to being dead. You'll stress yourself if you talk."

Ron was completely shocked by her ridiculous comment but the pain she was causing by rocking his bruised and broken chest was beginning to take its toll.

"Hermione I'm not dead," he said again, trying to make her get back to reality, "I wouldn't be talking if I was. Hermione you're hurting me!"

The sobbing and rocking stopped. She was completely still. Suddenly she bolted up and sat up straight and looked at him. Her eyes were wide and watery and her red cheeks were tear stained.

Ron tried not to smile.

_Wow! She looks so beautiful!_

"OH MY GOD RON!" she cried flinging her arms around his neck, causing him to cry out in shock and pain, "YOU'RE ALRIGHT! YOU'RE ALL RIGHT! I WAS SO WORRIED AND I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD AND…"

Ron knew what was coming next.

"RONALD WEASLEY WHAT THE HELL POSSESSED YOU TO GET DRUNK AND STAND IN FRONT OF A CAR?" she yelled pulling away from him and whacking his arm.

"OW!"

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOU BLOODY MIND? DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED I'VE BEEN FOR THE PAST COUPLE OF HOURS? I'VE BEEN SITTING HERE FOR SO LONG THINKING I'D NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN! I WAS SO SCARED THAT YOU'D DIE AND I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO TELL YOU! I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW SELFISH YOU ARE! DO YOU KNOW HOW TERRIFIED I WAS?"

"Hermione," Ron, Harry and Ginny groaned as they all woke from her yelling.

Hermione stopped and panted. Her eyes were ablaze with fury and her cheeks were red from shouting. Her hair was all over the place the eye make up she had worn to work was smudged. Yet Ron thought he'd never seen her look any more beautiful.

"Hi Hermione," Ron squeaked timidly. She narrowed her eyes dangerously.

"Hi Hermione?" she hissed, "Is that all you can say? I've been worried sick about you and you're stupid life and all you can say is Hi Hermione? Do you know what I was thinking just now?"  
Ron nodded. She'd just yelled it out. Hermione continued.

"I was just thinking of what I'd do if you died," she snarled, her jaw clenching, "I've been here stressing over the fact that I might never see you again and that I'd never be able to tell you that…"

"Tell me what?"

Hermione stopped. Ron always made her say too much.

"…Um…well…" she stammered. She had to do it now, or she'd never be happy.

"That I was an idiot," she mumbled meekly, "I was an idiot for ending it."

Silence filled the room.

"I don't know why or how I thought I'd be fine without you because I'm not," she continued, looking at the floor, "I miss you every single day. I miss the yelling and the shouting and the laughing and the crying. I miss you!" tears began falling again, "I thought David was the perfect guy for me, but he's not. No one is except you."

Ron didn't say anything for a while. Hermione felt her stomach tighten as more tears began to fall and she began crying uncontrollably again. She seemed to be doing that a lot.

"Why are you crying?" she heard Ron's soft and hoarse voice ask. She looked up.

"Because I just realised that you've gotten over me when I've realised that I haven't and I feel so stupid and…" she stopped and smiled dryly, wiping her eyes, "…and it hurts so much."

Ron looked at her, not saying anything as he took in her image. Her milky flawless skin was as good as ever, except for on her face, where it showed signs of sorrow, pain and lack or sleep. He looked into her chocolate brown eyes and almost smiled as he watched her wet, long eyelashes move up and down as she blinked. Her freckled nose and cheeks reminded him of the first time he'd seen her as an 11 year old. But looking at her lush lips he was reminded of how much she'd grown as he remembered kissing them.

"I know," he said simply.

"What?"

"I know it hurts," he said simply again, "I've been feeling it all this time. Why else do you think I stood in front of that car?"  
He grinned as she looked at him wide eyed.

"You went in front of that car on purpose?" she asked, shell-shocked.

Ron shrugged, enjoying her confusion.

"Well apart from being completely hammered…yeah I pretty much did."  
Hermione shook her head.

"Ron you're nuts, you're crazy!" she scolded. He grinned.

"I know," he said and looked away, "for you."

Hermione was taken aback, but before she could say anything her confused expression said it all.

"Oh come on Hermione," said Ron sitting up, still smiling, "do you think I'd get over you that quickly? After so long? I'd be mad to throw all those 10 years I spent with you away. Jeez! I mean what a waste of time!"

Hermione laughed and let out a sob as more tears fell.

Ron smiled at her as he touched her face.

"Don't cry," he said softly.

She shook her head.

"But you saw me kissing David," she mumbled; now seriously wondering if she was ever going to run out of tears.

Ron pulled his hand away.

"Yeah," he said softly, running his hand through his hair, "that's why I got myself hammered and almost killed."

Hermione put her head in her hands and groaned.

"Oh Ron," she moaned, "I was going to break up with him just that day. I don't care for him at all. Couldn't you see the way I was kissing him was so wrong?"

Ron raised an eyebrow.

"How the hell will I be able to see from that far off 'Mione? And anyway I thought that I was just imagining it."

Hermione laughed. He looked like a little boy.

"He's just too perfect and I can't stand him," she said looking up. Ron grinned.

"Yeah you need someone who's not perfect don't you?"

She laughed and nodded.

"Yeah," she said putting her hand to his face, "I need you."

They smiled at each other for a second before Ron leaned in to kiss her.

"OW!" he moaned before he reached her, "my back."

Hermione giggled.

"You're an idiot," she said leaning in and resting her forehead on his.

Ron grinned meekly.

"Yeah but you love me for it," he said cheekily before capturing her lips. Hermione felt a burst of emotion and she started crying yet again. It was getting annoying now.

"Why're you crying now?" Ron asked perplexed as he pulled away.

Hermione sniffed.

"I don't know," she sobbed and leaned in to Ron and wrapped her arms around him. Ron put his arms around her and made a funny face at Ginny and Harry.

"OW!" he yelped as Hermione whacked his arm, "what was that for?"

"I saw that Weasley," Hermione said grinning. Ron muttered darkly before kissing her forehead.

Hermione smiled her first smile in ages.

She decided she was happier being blissfully miserable than Ron, rather than being miserably blissful without him.

Warped reality. She knew.


End file.
